Barber’s Tale
or, that Time We Believed Gossip and Got Hopelessly Tangled
Of all the fuckery and damnation, I've finally discovered the elusive "lovably stupid" man my sisters talk about in Three-Fifths.
I set out today to save myself a trip: with sources otherwise drying up and time slipping, I pushed to find Lady Ursula Hedwig and drag her ass back to her jealous husband. Before I marched off after the Prophets of the Chosen to the Crystal Necropolis, I wanted to rule out the "ran away with a lover" angle.
I started at the Yellow Bottle, hoping Sanela might tell me where the "Love Nest" of Carran Vett was. She wasn't there, but Elena, the other barmaid, disliked Carran enough to spit on her own fresh-mopped floor when I asked. She didn't want to tell me where Sanela lived, but was willing to tell me that she likes to go to "the bridge" and watch the boats. Otherwise she hinted that the "Love Nest" was on the Spire's third tier,
She also shared a lead on a totally different matter about a prisoner offering a thousand crowns for his freedom. Odd thing to share with us.
Three Fifths Makes a Friend?
Of course, whiIe was doing that, Three-Fifths was declaring himself someone who can solve any problem to a well-dressed but shady character calling himself Viktor, who, given his euphemistic speech, I assumed was a smuggler.
Oddly, Viktor is looking for someone to find him interesting objects from the Crystal Necropolis. He is offering 'excellent prices' on anything we sell to him from there, so long as he gets the first right of refusal.
Vett is so unpopular with the girls at the Yellow Bottle that I was told to tell the tale of his punishment to Lucija to be immortalized in song.
I gambled on the Silberfelsbrüke and had a lucky break: Sanela was there on a picnic with her beau. I tried casually to make a quick 'hello" and to get quick directions to the 'Love Nest'. Three-Fifths came and tried to hire her for the night, tip her generously. It made her date very awkward, and probably killed any goodwill we had.
Three-Fifths has good looks and fine manners… but as I discovered, he's got a feral attitude.
Taking the Search to the Spire
To get in the Spire we let him pose as someone important and we as bodyguards. Yet as soon as we saw watchmen, the fool Three Fifths went over and started asking where we could find “ladies of pleasure” with all the subtlety of a warhammer to the forebrain,
At least the guard, trying to maintain some decorum, pointed us to an atrium of cafés where music could be heard.
While we decided to pretend to be Three Fifths' bodyguard (because he's capable of sweet talking), he decided I should be the one to conduct all the actual business.
I approached a Harpist named Magnus setting up for a concert in one of the open air cafes, posing as a procurer of talent for certain wealthy individuals.I claimed that I was looking for the best musicians to put in front of some foreign visitors. I asked him about.Vett's reputation as a philanderer and got a laughing response.The harpist seemed to think that putting him in front of foreign princesses would be a terrible idea. However, the moment that we heard from. Magnus where Vett was playing, Three-Fifths simply turned and walked off with all the class of a goat. So much for his fine manners being good cover. And so much for my cover as a procurer. I was forced to linger behind for a few minutes to smooth things over and before Magnus's ruffled feathers got us into trouble.
The cafe was certainly a study in the opulent ways of the upper crust.I'm down 10 pieces of gold from the day's venture, and I only had 3 drinks. Of course, this is in part because I was forced to go back and listen to Magnus’ harping to maintain my cover well. My companions lazed about in the cafe looking at pictures of exotic beauties on the wall and strange specimens in jars while sipping that foul brew,
Vett turned out to be a handsome and darned good musician. I could see how he could lure people in, and given how Sir Hedwig guards his wife, I can well imagine why she'd consider running away with him. It seemed more likely than her joining a cult and running off to the Crystal Necropolis.
Once he was done with his singing, we trailed him around the spire for a bit until he stopped for a dinner of street food. Not wanting to lose him, I simply approached him and gave him the same cover as before.. There is something about the idea that I'm a talent scout that makes the local musicians turn off half of their logical thinking.
The Truth Comes Out?
I got Vett to take me to a dark and private cafe. At my signal Boris and Three-Fifths boxed him in so I could have a talk. He's not an idiot; he was definitely expecting someone like me to come and have a word with him eventually. I played the conversation amicably, and he suggested that the idea that Ursula ran off with the Prophets of the Chosen was utterly ridiculous.
“Whenever you hear all sorts of sordid rumors about where a woman has gone, you can be assured she has gone home to family,” asserted Vett, “She is likely sulking at her sister's home in Marinizi!”
His evidence, if it could be called that, was a handkerchief with an angry letter calling him all kinds of horrendous names in a furor over his rejection of her. After all, he insisted, actually accepting her advances would have had Sir Hedwig collect both his heads and put them on display somewhere. Not to mention what the Red Prince might do.
Vett was incredulous that we didn’t know the Lady Ursula’s sister was married to Petar Vukovic, Lord of Sinj Manor and the titular “Red Prince” of Kordun. He laughed at us!
As I had characterized myself as a man who does all kinds of deeds for the wealthy and influential, I had hoped this would allow me the opportunity to turn him into an unreliable contact, and keep my cover as something like a talent scout for future work in the Merchant’s Borough.
Sadly, in a fit of feral temper, Three Fifths decided that he wanted to have a part of this investigation after having left me to do all the talking up to this point.. He threatened to break the Musician's thumbs, demanded he write a letter begging lady Ursula's forgiveness that we could use as bait to lure her out. Vett laughed again, “And give you some kind of proof of an affair with the noble’s wife? Do you think I am a fool?” More laughter.
Vett decided the conversation was over, and rose to take his leave, so three Fifths tried to trip him on his way out after uttering threats. Vett danced over his outstretched leg without skipping a beat. I might have done better pretending to bodyguard a randy bull than this fool.
At least now we have two leads. I will take a side trip to Sinj Manor in hopes that I can find lady Ursula there and in a week's time meet the others at the Crystal Necropolis. We now have the possibility of a payout whether she is there or not.. Hopefully these cultists will prove easy pickings and we can find what Mr. Viktor wants. And we won't regret giving it to him.
Good thing that.Three Fifths fights far better than he investigates.
DM Epilogue: The group stayed behind a while, discussing plans for finding Lady Ursula and getting their hands on whatever treasure the Prophets of the Chosen were digging up in the Necropolis. Upon leaving the un-named establishment the group was surrounded by more than a dozen street children, raucously begging for coppers. Boris, suddenly suspecting a trap, tossed two handfuls of silver coins into the street. When the raggedy children scrambled for the coins, Boris and company beat a hasty retreat, watchful for an ambush.
Belatedly aware they may have drawn the attention of the rich & powerful, the party decided to return to the Yellow Bottle and rented out the entire top floor. They brought all of the party members and the men at arms to this common-room sleeping area, hoping to stay safe.
Fin
Downtime begins 17 June 1023 IC
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